Femi's Diary is an online serial I wrote from 2002 to 2004. It contained weekly diary entries of a fictional character called Femi and was hosted on the now defunct Geocities.

Her story began in 2002 in the middle of the recession and it chronicled her life - family, friends, career, romance - and ran for about 2 and a half years. I'm going to be editing it and updating it on a weekly basis.

One benefit of having it pre-written is that readers don't have to wait for months just for an update. So there won't be a long stretch (or a hiatus) where readers would be left wondering when the next update will be. Another advantage is that this will be much better written than it initially was when it was written on the fly.

So please join Femi and I as we experience what life as a 20-something year old woman is in 2011.

Week Two

What can I say but thank God it's not Wednesday. If it were, God knows that I would probably be crying my eyes out or stabbing someone with a pencil. Anyway, let me tell you how my week went.

As I said last week, it's all about getting employed. So last week, I checked out Craigslist and found this vacancy placed by an ad agency looking for people to become entry-level managers and a bunch of other stuff. What caught my eye was "no experience necessary," "recent college grad" and "Atlanta." Well, I hear Atlanta is a good place to live and I haven't got any experience so I called them up. I asked the guy about the job and he said "We are training employees to be managers of branches of our ad agency. Our clientele includes major sportsmen, restaurants blah blah blah." Sounded amazing. I told the guy I wasn't currently in ATL but promised to be at the interview the following week. That was that.

So this week, I carried my big ass to ATL. Luckily, I didn't have to stay at a hotel because my old high school friend Juan lives there. The whole time, I imagined I was Vivica A .Fox in Two Can Play That Game. You know, a stylish ad exec having the time of her life.

So I got to the agency at around noon and saw about five other professionally dressed women waiting to be interviewed. My resume got wet on the plane ride so I went across the street to make a copy of it. The guy there said something about the ad agency "selling office supplies" but I ignored it. He seemed like a hater to me.

Anyway, typical questions were asked at the interview and I thought it went well because he asked me when next I would be available for a second interview. I told him I'd be back whenever he needed. He then explained that the second interview would entail my working with them for a full day. He promised to call me later that day with the verdict. At around 6pm, Steve called me for a follow-up interview. I was ecstatic.

So the next day, I was excited when I arrived at their offices at around 8:45am. I spotted some other people who'd also been called back. Downstairs, I heard screaming and chanting and heard that it was because someone had just been promoted. At around 9:15am, Steve assigned me to an employee named Jeff and explained that I'd been hanging out with him the whole day and in turn, he'd be evaluating me. So at around 9:45, Jeff, two other employees and I headed out to Blairsville. On the ride there, the employees grilled me on advertising-related issues. Hello, I know nothing about advertising but I bullshitted my way though it while trying to learn more about the position. Apparently, I was getting ahead of myself because I'd learn more about it from Jeff during lunch. Being rather clueless, I figured that I might as well just go with the flow.

We finally arrived at Blairsville after two hours. Once we got out of the car, Jeff said to Gordon (his colleague) that he should take one side while he'd be taking the other. Say what? Yes, Jeff said, "You take this side, I take the other." HUH?!?!? I was confused but followed Jeff till we entered a business and I heard him say, "I'm a representative of Quills and would like to speak to your manager about your office supplies." Yes, Jeff is a door-to-door salesman. Can you believe that? The job at the ad agency involved me going into offices trying to sell them some muthafucking paper! Oh, hell no! Did I spend thousands of dollars in college to spend the rest of my days walking into offices to sell them some damn paper? We didn't get back till 6pm and needless to say, I gave that asshole, Steve, a piece of my mind. I hope he rots in hell!

So why didn't I look them up on the internet? I did visit their website and read nothing about selling paper on it, okay? What the bloody hell? And to think that I spent the little money I had FLYING to the freaking city for this bullshit. And to make matter worse, I didn't even get paid for the 10 hours I was with their 'team.' What can I say? You live and learn.

Screw you, Steve, and your fraudulent company.

Week One

Diary, let me introduce myself to you. My name is Femi and I've decided to keep a journal. Why? First of all, if not for people like moi, your ass would still be on the shelf at Barnes & Noble so how about you shut your trap for a change? Okay, okay, I'm just kidding. So why am I doing this? I was watching The View the other day and apparently, keeping a food diary helps a person get rid of excess weight so I figure that keeping a life journal is gonna help me get rid of all the damn drama in my life. Makes sense, doesn't it?

Aiight, I'm still stalling. I haven't yet introduced myself to you. Well my name is Femi. Just like that City High song goes "I'm caramel complected, 5'5 with brown eyes, smile like the sunrise," Well except that I'm chocolate toned, 5'8 with dark brown/black eyes and yeah, smile like the sunrise. :) And my Father's Nigerian -hence the name. The full name's Oluwafemi which means "God loves me." Like DUH!

I've got two older siblings: a brother, Taiwo, who's 3 years older than I am which I guess makes him 25 and an older sister, Kehinde, who's the same age and yeah, they are twins.

Hmm.... So what else can I tell ya? I just graduated with my B.A in Sociology and French and like the rest of the world, my ass is jobless with his pathetic economy. I cannot believe I'm going back home to live with my parents! SOMEBODY SHOOT ME NOW!!!!

You've probably figured this out since I bought you in Madison and didn't take you on any flights or long road trips which means I live in Madison, Wisconsin. Fun, fun, fun!

Gosh. I am boring myself now. I've haven't got much to say cos I just bought you about 3 hours ago and nothing much has happened since then. Hopefully, this time next week, I'll have something real fun to report. Till then, take care.